 【理想屯播客THE CJ SHOW】不知不觉已经录制了80期。80期的特别节目就是响应听众要求，用标准的济南普通话朗诵了一篇曾经写过的文章，敬请收听与阅读。 记得我很小的时候听过「俞伯牙和钟子期」的故事，知道了「高山流水，知音难寻」的典故。那时候还在学画画，自己也绘制了一幅白胡子老头孤身一人在山间抚琴，四周被流水环抱的简笔画。那是一种超凡脱俗，沉醉于自我世界的状态，而那幅画的意境也一直伴随着我的成长，每当感受到孤独或者不被他人理解之时，想想古人们也有此的际遇，也就放宽了心，不执着于此。 人是一种群居动物，总喜欢扎堆凑热闹，在与他人的对话和聚会中找到自己的存在感。我们赋予了人际关系太多沉甸甸的价值，让其不堪负荷，但由于人性使然，我们所追逐的人际关系和亲密关系永远不可能达到完美状态，也不会成为我们幸福生活的源泉。唯有孤独，让我们能察觉到自己内心深处最深的情感需要，与自己的灵魂相遇，在独处时，找到填补外在现实世界与内在精神世界鸿沟的方法，探索未知的领域，探索未知的自己。 人身处于嘈杂的社会环境中，很容易受他人意见和评价的左右，为了符合主流社会的「游戏规则」，而做出一些无可奈何的决定，从而迷失了自我，活成了一个个的模板。这个世界唯一不缺的就是很容易被别人替代的人，而活出自我的先决条件就是认识自我。独处，则让我们有机会只和自己对话，面对真实的自己。 独处是一种挑战，数学家Blaise Pascal早在17世纪就指明了，「人类的所有问题都源于无法独自安静地待在一个房间里」。独处时可能时而高昂亢奋，时而沮丧低落，要不就会有一种面对无聊的无力感和恐惧感，这时候很容易去借助娱乐方式让自己得到暂时的精神安慰。但当你真的静下心来直面自我时，你会发现自我反思或者深度思考的乐趣，远远比外界刺激带来的乐趣更加丰富和完整。孤独其实不好也不坏，不过是一种发展自我意识的状态。人在独处时则可以诱发出一种全新的感觉和意识的起点，这起点会导致一个人从根本意义上深刻地感触到自我的存在以及世间万物的存在。 毫无疑问，独处是一种挑战，要在这期间保持一种平衡不能说没有问题。然而我决不可以否认的是，对我自己而言，和人们在一起，哪怕是和一个我最爱的人一起待上一段时间而没有自己独处的时间时，事情就会变得更糟。我失去了自己的重心，感到混乱不堪、无所适从。我一定得有自己独处的时刻，好去仔细咀嚼所有发生的事情，去汲取生活的精华和本质。 弗洛伊德曾经说过，未表达的情绪永远不会消亡。它们只是被活埋,并将在未来以更加丑陋的方式涌现」。如果不能够清楚地意识到自己的情绪和问题，企图以逃避的方式得到短暂的解脱，那只会给未来的自己带来更大的麻烦。而独处时，就是你真实面对自己的那一刻。 记了十几年的日记，看着日记本上曾经留下名字最多的人，现在很多都早已不见了踪影，才体会到「人生如列车，身边的人不过都是过客，搭乘时好好珍惜，中途别人下车道一声珍重，然后继续自己的旅程」。每一次目送他人下车，都没有必要执着挽留，而是臣服于命运的无常，然后打起精神迎接下一段历程。天下终归无不散的宴席，而自己才是自己的终身伴侣。 毛姆在《月亮与六便士》说过，我们每个人生在世界上都是孤独的，我们非常可怜地想把自己心中的财富传送给别人，但是他们却没有接受这些财富的能力。因此我们只能孤独的行走，尽管身体相互依傍却并不在一起，既不了解别的人也不能为别人所了解。 孤独是无法靠外界治愈的，所有的一切都是让你暂时分心的工具，无论是电影、书籍、健身房还是朋友... 都是你逃避内心空洞的外物，逃得了一时逃不了一世，终归需要面对自己，你到底是谁呢？这是需用一辈子的时间去回答的问题。 最后，引用加西亚·马尔克斯《百年孤独》的一句话来结尾，「过去都是假的，回忆是一条没有归途的路，以往的一切春天都无法复原，即使最狂热最坚贞的爱情，归根结底也不过是一种瞬息即逝的现实，唯有孤独永恒」。 愿我们都能早日学会和自己和平相处，并珍惜现在陪我们搭车的乘客们。  Slowly escorted by two police officers into the room, I immediately recognize the background music: Back In Black by AC/DC, one of Iron Man’s favourite songs. Exactly as I requested. I think in my head, with a satisfied smile on my face. I stop in front of a Futura Height Adjustable Drafting Table and a Brno Flat Bar Chair and look around. There is a tiny window enclosed by a grid on the wall, and an Achille Castiglioni arco lamp sitting at the corner of this narrow and airtight room. “Sit down and write, as you wished,” said a policeman with a cold and impatient tone. The other policeman unlocks my handcuffs gently and pulls out the chair for me to sit. I give him a subtle smile to say thanks and notice his eyes full of pity. I hate this fake compassion. I’m a hero, not a loser. “Ge Yunliang, as you requested, here are a set of furniture, a pack of cigarettes, a cheeseburger combo, a Lego Minifigure, a ballpoint pen and five pieces of papers. The Party follows the spirit of humanitarianism and grants your last wish of writing a story before your death penalty. You have one hour to use this room, and please adhere to the rules as below…” The cold policeman begins to read the official paper, which to me, is full of bullshit. What could I do rather than follow the rule? Could it be possible to escape this room from that tiny and high window? Could it be possible to attack these two policemen with a pen? Nevertheless, my final wish is to write my own story. How could I waste the last chance to achieve this goal? I occasionally nod to showcase I am listening. However, my mind has already out of the space to travel through my short but heroic life. I can not wait but writing down the story haunted me day and night since I surrender myself to the police. “Can you confirm you understand the agreement and sign your name here, Ge Yunliang!” The cold police officer shouts at me and thumps the table in front of me. “Yes, Sir!” I reply back and sign my signature, feeling ridiculous to go through this nonsense paperwork. “You may start to write now, Mr Ge,” the friendly policeman reminds me and pushes the start button on the timer. “Di-da-di-da……” I pick up the pen and write down the story of a taxi driver. ------------------------------ I was a taxi driver. I have been working at the largest taxi company in this city for two years before the autopilot cars took over the market. Throughout my childhood, I only enjoyed one sport (if you could call it a sport), trampoline jumping. Only in this activity could I imagine I was a superhero from Marvels and DC, flying without wings and jumping out from the crowd. I enjoyed flipping, bouncing and performing air tricks on the trampoline until one day I fell off onto the ground. I lost consciousness immediately. When I woke up from severe chest contusion, I found out I was surrounded by many people with masks in white suits. They told me I would be alright, so I felt safe to go back to the infinite darkness. In dreams, I saw Pepper implanted a device in my chest, and I became the second generation of Iron Man. ‘I am Iron Man’ was the first sentence I spoke when I came back to reality. My parents ignored my words and told me that I was in a coma for seven days. Doctors asked me to stay in the hospital for another ten days, which means I would celebrate my ten years old birthday here. As a Chinese saying goes, those who have survived a severest crisis can expect blessings in the days to come. Yes, it was right. I got my longtime longing birthday gifts from my parents, a Giant Iron Man Garage Kit and an Iron Man Minifigure. I did feel blessed. Ever since I was released from the hospital, I carried the Minifigure with me all the time. It served as a reminder of my dream and a mascot of my life. When my classmates shared their future plan to be a scientist, an online influencer, a doctor or a president, I told them I would like to be Iron Man. They laughed at my dream, the same way as I mocked their boring choices. I knew I was special because I shared the same experience as Tony Stark. My parents and teachers considered me as an intelligent and disciplined student. I thought they were too naive. It was easy for me to get social credibility by achieving good academic scores. Only in this way would they never mind other business I had been doing in life, for example, watching comics and movies of Iron Man. When I was seventeen years old, I got accepted by a tier-one university in my city, majored in Mechanical Engineering and Automation. I felt like I was one more step closer to be an Iron Man. However, life was full of surprises and would not turn into the direction as you planned. I was rejected by numerous companies after I graduated from the university. Although I had excellent grades, the majority of companies thought I lacked experience as an engineer. How could I get experience if no one provided me with the opportunity as a graduate? Even if I got an interview opportunity, I usually screwed it up. Well, in their words, I was not a team player. Have you ever seen Iron Man as a team player? The last time he worked in the team, he got killed. I stayed at my parent’s place as an unemployed adult under tremendous social and peer pressures. Sometimes, I felt like I didn’t belong to this universe but the Marvel’s universe where I could unleash my potential to save this world. I gradually realized that I probably never going to achieve the dream of being Iron Man, nor get a job as an engineer. I fell into depression. My parents told me there was always a way out. Yes, they were right. I got a job as a taxi driver, the job I could never imagine Iron Man would do. It all started with my uncle’s reductant during the global digital revolution. He lost his job as a cashier at a bank and got hired by the largest private taxi company in my city. Seeing that an influenza pandemic outbroke several years ago, people tended to commute in a taxi rather than the public transport. So many taxi companies bloomed in the market like a bubble and then burst out. In the end, there was one company monopolized the market, the one secretly owned by the current mayor’s relatives. Don’t ask me why I knew that. Everybody knew it, but nobody questioned that. As long as they paid less money to get to wherever they wanted to go, nothing else mattered. My uncle introduced me to the taxi company with a bribe of money. ‘Luckily’ enough, I got the job, the first-ever job after of unemployment. I got used to this lifestyle as a taxi driver after a few months of driving people around. I had flexible working hours and occasionally worked from home (without pay). Sometimes, I went out with my colleagues and gossiped about the passengers we met. Although my colleagues and I worked alone most of the time, we had a chat group with people who lived in the same neighbour to exchange information. I was satisfied with my current life, easy and straightforward, transferring human beings from one spot to another, and repeating. There was a passenger from overseas with a strange accent and tipped me with hundreds of dollars. There was a passenger who was homeless asked me to drop him wherever allowed him to sleep on the street. The oldest passenger was a guy in his nineties who was unwell and had to go to hospital by himself because his partner and children all died. The youngest passenger was a baby girl who needed to be transferred weekly between their divorced parents because they didn’t want to see each other. Everyone living in this city had an interesting story to tell. I was an exception. My life was just in between a tiny small taxi car and a tiny small studio flat. I was expecting to live in this way for the rest of my life. And life gave me another big surprise. The new mayor replaced the current mayor at the biennial election. The first mission was to introduce the new public transport model of autopilot cars to replace the old taxi. Of course, the new mayor was the secret shareholder behind this driverless car company. At the beginning, people did not trust the unpiloted cars. However, with the lower price incentive and safety campaign conducted by the city council, more and more people changed their preferences to this new form of transportation. I took the ride with this self-driving car and fell in love with it at first sight. I enjoyed the amazingly immersive and cinematic feel thanks to the comfy seats and surround sound audio which was exactly as the advertisement said. How could this not be popular? The annual taxi drivers meeting was held at the largest stadium in my city. It used to be packed with cheerful people, drinking, dancing and getting awards from the former mayor to honour our contribution to the development of this city. However, there were only hundreds of people attending the meeting this year. Most of the drivers had already been laid off, including my uncle. I sat with people from my chat group and noticed Song in her absent-mind. “What’s up, sister Song,” I asked. She was a single mum in my parent’s age and had a son a few years younger than me. “I’m afraid I will be fired soon,” said Song, wearing a distressed look. “I’m in my fifties and know nothing about technology. How can I survive if I lose this job.” I felt sorry for her. My uncle was precisely the same. He wasn’t able to catch up with the rapid development of technology. Most people from his generation had been considered as the “leftover generation”. No job. No skill. No money. How could they live in this world? “My son is the breath of my life,” Song continued and began to lose control of her emotion. “If I lost this job, how can I support him to study overseas?” While watching Song weeping in front of me, I was out of my wits. I thought about her, about my uncle, about people who lost their jobs. Suddenly, there was a spark rekindled in my heart. You Know, It’s Moments Like These When I Realize What A Superhero I Am. I left the annual meeting with a couple of awards at hand, which meant nothing to me. Flashing back to the time when I first started, I thought it would be effortless to be a taxi driver. What’s so hard about driving, especially with GPS at hand? However, I got into trouble on all sides. I remembered I made a detour to avoid traffic and saved time my passenger, but the passenger complained about my behaviour of taking the long route and gave me one star. I remembered I once helped a drunker get off the car because she could hardly walk, but accused by her with sexual harassment. Most of the time, I finished my meals in between rides and had to hold back urines while driving, which led to stomach ulcer and urethritis. Thanks to people like my uncle and Song from the chat group sharing their learnings and solutions and even looking after me, I overcame the difficulties and became a qualified driver. Now, it’s time for me to give it back. I need to figure out a detailed plan. In a few weeks, I called Song to meet in private and told her my whole plan. She was in shock, shaking her head in refusal. “I heard you are on furlough with a 50% pay cut at the moment. I believe it’s the company’s strategy to force you to leave the work,” I tried to persuade Song to participate in my plan. “Think about your son, sister Song. If you’d like to send him overseas, my plan is the quickest way to get the money.” Song burst into tears the minute she heard about her son, the spoiled one who was eager to escape the city and go overseas to study. “Ge, your plan sounds so crazy,” Song said to me. “I’m not worried about myself, but… but you. Are you sure you want to do that? You are still young and have a bright future waiting for you. Are you 100% sure?” “Take it easy, sister Song,” I comforted her with a calm voice. “I have calculated every consequence, and I’m willing to pay the full price.” I reached out my hand into my pocket and touched Iron Man Minifigure. Yes, I’m a hero. Suffering and Sacrifice Are The Seeds Of An Extraordinary Life. “All right, let’s do it.” Song looked at me with determination. After meeting with Song, I went to see the former mayor face to face. I knew what he wanted, and I needed his resources as well. We hit it off instantly although I knew he had been investigating me behind my back for a long time since the first time I shared my plan with him. I spent most of the time at my fifteen square meters studio apartment working on the plan. My only company was this guy my parents bought me when I turned to ten years old. He looked at me with his glowing eyes as if he could see through the bright future. I didn’t need to execute multiple simultaneous intrusions, but one, only one is enough. At the right time. At the right place. I indulged myself into working and skipped meals and sleep. I even forgot what day it was until I looked at it on my phone. It would seem that happiness is something to do with simplicity, and that it is the ability to extract pleasure from the simplest things. It was the happiest time in my life, turning out my plan into reality. I eventually had a chance to practise my talent in technology and engineering. I never watch or read the news because I felt they were full of clickbait headlines and politicians’ nonsense. On May 29th, I read almost all the local news. I was glad about how they covered my story, especially in this election year. - WOMEN MURDERED BY A DRIVERLESS CAR, ROLLING OVER HER BODY AGAIN AND AGAIN - SELF-DRIVING CARS ARE A SCAM AND NEED TO DIE - FATAL AUTOPILOT CAR MURDER CASE PROMPTS CALL FOR TIGHTER OVERSIGHT - CITY COUNCIL MUST PROCEED WITH CAUTION ON DRIVERLESS CARS BILL - AUTONOMOUS CARS: THE CYBERSECURITY ISSUES FACING THE INDUSTRY - ATTENTION! COULD A HACKER CRASH YOUR CAR? ARE YOU THE NEXT? I turned myself in and confessed my deliberate murder because there was no reason to hide: I wanted my name on the news. And my dream came true. In a few months, the former mayor won the election. There were rarely any driverless cars on the road. Song’s son claimed his mother’s life insurance. My uncle went back to drive the taxi again. I was sentenced to death. ----------------------------------------------- I put down the pen, looking at the timer: 58'49'. People will remember my name as the FIRST human being conducted driverless car murder. I tear all my papers into pieces and throw them into the air, howling with laughter. Two police officers push my head onto the table immediately and slap the cuffs on me. In their mind, I am a heartless murderer. They are afraid of me. I look at you with a smile. As long as you know the truth, that’s enough. -END-  I followed the lockdown and the social distancing rule and took those pictures from March to June. All photos are taken by iPhone 11 Pro  Ryan Holiday的名字经常在我公众号出现，之前翻译过他的《12个改变一生的问题》《28种方式助你通往成功和快乐之路》，也多次在播客和博文中提到他所倡导的现代斯多葛派理论。Ryan每年生日之时都会对过去的一年做个总结，这个习惯已经持续了10年之久。今天就来概括翻译下他刚刚发布的33岁生日感想。 原文链接：https://ryanholiday.net/33-things/ – 前美国男篮助教George Raveling曾经说过，人们牺牲性命来保全书籍可以安然流传下去。如果不把读书当做生命中一件重要的事情，就如同背叛了先辈们的遗赠。 - 前美国国防部长James Mattis指出，如果你不广泛的阅读，那其实和文盲并无区别。 - 作家F. Scott Fitzgerald曾说过，每当你想批评别人的时候，要记住，这世上并不是所有人都有你拥有的那些优势。 - 前《纽约时报》专栏作家Neil Strauss提到过，当有人告诉你事情出现问题时，他们基本都是正确的；但当有人告诉你怎么去解决问题时，他们基本都是错的。 - 一位法国记者曾经告诉我，爱情「LOVE」的正确拼写方法是「T-I-M-E」，这帮助我学会了做一名好的丈夫和父亲：花费时间陪伴家人。 - 我在采访自行车运动员Lance Armstrong时，他给我看了他收到的短信，并告诉我：“当我处于风口浪尖时，有的朋友赶来支持，有的朋友则选择逃跑”。尽管朋友会做错事，或者与我产生异议，但我还是选择永远做前者。 - 当我读高中的时候，我经常与同学分享自己的观点，结果发现他们「窃取」了我的见解并写在作业里。我向老师抱怨，老师告诉我，“你的职责不就是分享观点吗？”我很开心我能在16岁的时候就明白这个道理。 - 作家Cheryl Strayed告诉年轻的作家，业余的作家把出版看的比写作还要重要，而专业的作家则一点也不去考虑结果，因为他们相信写作的过程，过程对了，结果能差到哪去？ - 企业家Peter Thiel说过，竞争是输家才会玩的游戏。我完全同意这一说法，找到一个没有竞争的产业，只和自己竞赛。 - 我最喜欢的一篇文章题目来自剪辑师Kayla Chadwick：《我不知道如何向你解释但你应该关心他人》。 – 博主Tim Ferriss经常会问一些引人深思的问题，对我影响最大的一个问题就是，你有了钱会干什么？我的回答是，并不干什么。然后我明白了其实并没有必要去拼命赚钱。 - 我和作家Hemingway以及John Fante学到的一件事就是通过打字让指尖感受写作的快感。我已经坚持写了15年并出版了不少书籍，写作这一行动已经彻底融入在我的潜意识当中。当然，这种训练肢体的方法也适用于其他任何行业。 - 健身教练Steve Kamb曾告诉我说，最有礼貌的拒绝方法就是「我有一条规则，那就是...」，比如说「我有一条规则我不提供免费演讲」「我有一条规则我每天晚上需要回家陪孩子」。人们倾向于遵守并接受规则，所以当他们听到你的规则时，会理解你的选择。 - 去参加可以让你得到提升的活动。对我吸引力最大的活动不是那里的环境和美食有多么好，而是能在那里认识到可以让我大开眼界的人或者听到大开眼界的观点。 - 我时刻把印有斯多葛派生活哲学的硬币揣着兜里，书桌上也摆放着斯多葛派人物的塑像，墙上也挂着相关的绘画。你需要谨记自己的「人生箴言」，并尽可能的让它们时刻出现在你的眼前。 - 明确自己的时间价值，计算好自己的小时费用。如果可以用便宜的价格雇佣他人来解决你的问题，那就不要花费自己的宝贵时间来做这些杂事。 - 我的高效生活借鉴了Julia Cameron的每天起床写日记和Shane Parrish每天早起并不碰手机的习惯。 - 尽快忘掉过去的成功，每一天都是新的开始，需要接受新的挑战。 – 美国调查记者David French说过，人们需要「宽恕」就像人类需要氧气，一个没有恩典的国家只会让人民痛苦。 - 企业家Dov Charney告诉我说，一切事物都是从零开始，一开始千万不要灰心，我们需要时间从零起步。 - 投资人Chris Yeh曾说过，想像生活就是一个杂耍抛球的游戏，你手中一共有五个球，分别是工作、家庭、健康、朋友和精力。当你把它们一齐抛向空中时，你会发现只有工作是弹力球，而其他的都是玻璃球。工作没了还能再找，但是其他四个一旦落地，不是完全破碎就是出现裂痕，再也回不到原来的样子。 – 播主James Altucher和我说过，你并不需要时刻想着怎么让钱生钱。你可以把赚来的钱放在那里而不去投资，这没什么好焦虑的。 - 电台主持Charlamagne说，你拥有的东西越便宜，你越不会去担心如果它们丢了或者坏了怎么办。 - 投资人Ramit Sethi经常不回复他人的信息。一开始我觉得这很不礼貌，但是现在我意识到省下那些回复时间而专心投入到你在乎的事情和人身上才是对的。 - 罗马皇帝Marcus Aurelius写下的这句话对我的人生产生了重大的意义---「你本可以今天就做出积极改变，但却非要等到明天」。 我也像Ryan Holiday一样，每年生日之时都会总结过去一年生活的心得体会： 写下自己的生活哲学，不仅可以帮助自己更好地决策，在遇到诱惑时明白如何表现，还可以当做之后人生的指导方针，时刻铭记自己的优先事宜和价值底线，何乐而不为呢？ p.s. 撒花庆祝英超复赛！我的快乐源泉之一又回归啦！  "Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past" 今年6月8日发布了我的首部英文小说《The Invisible Third Culture Adult》。
之所以选择这个日子，一是正好六月截稿，另一个原因则是为了致敬乔治·奥威尔于1949年6月8日发布的《一九八四》，我的小说中也多次提及这部经典著作和奥威尔的故事。 看看当下发生的事情吧，《一九八四》这本虚构小说从来也不过时，而且越发真实。「... every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right」。英国的暴徒们恶意涂抹丘吉尔的雕像，推倒众多历史人物的塑像，修改道路和建筑物的名称... 重要的不是用暴力抹掉历史的污点，而是从历史事件中进行反思，从而避免再次犯错。最近看了看1918、1919、1920的历史大事件，西班牙流感、墨索里尼建党、《凡尔赛条约》、爱尔兰内战... 历史总在重复着自己，可人类永不接受教训，不知道我们的后代将来在课堂上会如何学习我们所处的这个时代。 自疫情隔离以来，每个工作日都会去看James Altucher的IGlive，话题包含写作、创业、恋爱、时政还有数不尽的商业和投资知识。不仅得到启发出版了自己第一本英文小说和第一个英文播客，同时还认识了很多志同道合的小伙伴。比如说最近在海德公园面基了一位将「科学」和「魔术」结合在一起的美国博士，他的研究领域是将心理学和化学知识结合到魔术表演这样的娱乐项目中。听了他的经历和故事，发现科学也可以如此有趣，很多行业都是可以串联起来，然后达到1+1＞2的效果。突然感觉下一本小说的主意也有了，从研究苏轼入手，将中外文化横向对比结合起来写一个故事！ 再来分享下这一个月的英文突击写作的学习心得： ① 首先需要一个截止线，没有压力就没有动力，把看似半年才能完成的写作任务压缩到一个月，给自己一个挑战。 ② 行动揭示为人。说的再好听没有行动也是白搭，既然接受挑战就把自己当成作家来看待，时刻记住自己的身份，用行动为自己的身份作证。 ③ 身份也不用跟你太长时间，随时可以给自己一个身份，然后抛弃另一个身份。五年前的你想要的东西和现在肯定不同，而五年后也有极大的可能不再想要现在的生活。这都无所谓，关键是活在当下，享受当下赋予自己的身份特征和人生意义。 ④ 一切外界的声音都不重要，当真正完成了一件作品，本以为会狂喜不已，后来发现我想的只有what's next？ ⑤ 你可以计划一切，但是计划永远没有变化大，控制自己能控制的，其他都交给宇宙来处理吧。 ⑥ 最棒的「非对称行动」就是利用社交媒体平台和大佬们互动，完善的考虑你想要提出的问题并清晰的表达需要寻求的帮助，这些看似高高在上的人其实都很乐于帮你解决提出的「好问题」，比如说我在自己的小说最后「致谢篇章」中提到的大佬们，通过社交媒体和他们互动提问，点透了很多我百思不得其解的问题。 ⑦ 写作对于我来说是最好的疗愈过程，通过帮助虚构人物思考解决措施，也为自己过去的痛苦和孤独找到了解药。 最后说一说温斯顿·丘吉尔。 他一生出了40多本书，共计1000多万字，并获得了诺贝尔文学奖；画了500多幅画；发布了2300多则演讲... 当然了，他还是位忙碌的政治家带领英国取得二战胜利。 他为什么如此高效？ 答：自律和对生活的热爱。 看看丘吉尔的日常生活，他每天早上起床后先洗一个热水澡，然后花费两个小时写作，并处理信件。大约中午的时候和妻子问好（丘吉尔相信保持良好婚姻的秘诀就是不要在中午前见你的爱人）并享用午餐。饭后围着庄园散步，喂喂天鹅和鱼，然后静坐沉思或者读诗。大约下午三点左右午睡小憩。下午五点左右醒后和家人共处，然后洗浴更衣晚上八点左右食用晚餐。睡前继续写作或者处理公事。日复一日，年复一年。 除了写作之外，丘吉尔在战时发展了两项爱好帮助他缓解压力，一是砌砖，二是油画。虽然在专业人的角度来看他的砌砖和绘画水平有限，但他的爱好却让他有时间独处，平整心情，清醒头脑，并在后来帮助他走出政坛的失意。斯多葛派的一句名言就是，你在闲暇时间做的事情，对你的心情和成长起到决定性的作用。 我们可以像丘吉借鉴的高效生活守则就是： - 发展可以为我们带来益处的爱好 - 创造可持续坚持的日常习惯 - 多与大自然接触 - 在独处中反思自我 - 与家人共享欢乐时光 - 保证睡眠，学会休息 
Here is the first English episode from The CJ Show! A conversation with Walid Salem on current #BLM and multicultural society.
Topics including: - Are you comfortable answering the question of 'where are you from'? - Comment on #BLM through an ethnic minority perspective - Individuals VS System - 2008 financial crisis and Brexit - What's the new narrative do we need in the current society? - How technology shapes our way to be an activist? - Global citizen responsibility Host: @Camelliayang Guest: @WalidSalem AVAILABLE ON 14 PODCAST PLATFORMS 
30 days, 30,000 words, 11 stories. The Invisible Third Culture Adult is released today.
OVERVIEW OF THE BOOK Nora Jia Qiao-Bridges' home is everywhere and nowhere - from China to New Zealand, and from the UK to the world. Born in China as a descendent of Confucius, Nora grew up influenced by western culture. She constantly struggles with the inner conflict of embracing multiculturalism as a Chinese Kiwi living abroad. She lives and travels in different part of the world to discover her multicultural identity, find a sense of belonging and fight the battle against discrimination. Eleven stories on stereotypes, identity, loneliness, relationship, sexual harassment, race, media manipulation, and the hidden history will resonate with ethnic minorities who may have experienced the cultural similarities and differences between East and West. Everyone has a story to tell. It’s time for Chinese New Zealanders to be seen and heard. This book serves as a powerful tool, encouraging people to listen to each other with a curious and open mind. You will learn the difficulties and struggles facing Chinese international students in the western world. You will be encouraged and inspired to find solutions to deal with racial tensions in the current society. Thanks, @Jaltucher for initiating this lockdown book writing challenge that encourages me to write my first book in English. Thanks my friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and online followers from all over the world for your love and encouragement. Most importantly, thanks to people who free themselves from stereotypes and treat others equally with kindness and compassion. We all have the power to change the world of one person, and as one person, together, we will change the world.    球姐和LJ十分推荐的动画片《瑞克和莫蒂》第四季刚刚完结，本期就来谈谈我们的感想，你将听到：
* 动画为什么比电视电影更有表现力 * 人类为什么害怕做决定？ * 没有后果的人生会是什么样子？ * 创作者的痛苦和挣扎，艺术创作真的逃不开消费主义吗？ * 为什么很多人喜欢独坐马桶很久或呆在车上不回家？ * 动画片里的虚无主义和存在主义 * 流传千载的故事有什么样的规律？ * 如何靠讲故事来消解痛苦？ * 世上的善恶到底如何判定？ * 我们的世界还能好下去吗？ 收听方式： - 荔枝FM: www.lizhi.fm/3647543/5115171666956753926 - 喜马拉雅FM： https://www.ximalaya.com/jiaoyu/11828329/304751611 - Spotify： open.spotify.com/episode/7ufqmkoarcxLioLolKniAS 也可在其他各大播客平台或app直接搜索「The CJ Show」或「理想屯」进行收听。 
最近对一位葡萄牙作者特别的感兴趣，认识他的人回忆道，「他是一个令人愉悦的人，充满魅力和幽默感，但是同时他却刻意与他人保持着距离，免于与任何人过份的亲密，从而干扰他的日常作息」；还有人说，「当我告别他时，我再也不敢回头看着他，我怕我会看到他在空气中消失」。 这样一位作家，在其短暂的一生中凭空创造了70多位有生活背景并个性迥异的虚拟作家，然后以他们的名义发表作品，而他们彼此之间还拥有交集，这一切都是他死后才被人发现。他虽然并没怎么游历世界，却在自己的想象中创造出了整个宇宙，他就是费尔南多·佩索阿（Fernando Pessoa）。如果让我余生只能读一本书，我会选择他的《不安之书》，每每读来都有全新的感受和无尽的共鸣。 佩索阿通过观察和思考，不断审视人类的存在，每一次创作都是一个将过去的自我碾碎然后重新塑造的过程。就像另一位我欣赏的作家博尔赫斯所说的，世界上有两种艺术家，一种是通过探索自我和观察周围客观环境进行创作；另一种则是漠视时空的局限，将自己从身体的牢笼中解脱出来，在「虚无」中进行创作。佩索阿就是后者的代表。 他时常觉得自己是遥远边陲并不存在的乡村，是一则从未被写出来的书籍上的书评。他过着默默无闻的生活，习惯孤独而不是与人相处，他认为只有这样，才可以将「自我」从普通人的身份中幻化出无数「他人」。他曾说过，「如果我被身份束缚，我就不能够进入想象的世界而创作这个人。一个普通人可以把他自己想象成罗马国王，但英国国王不能，因为英国国王已经失去了把自己梦想成为另一个国王的能力，他的现实限制了他的感觉」。所以，他的自我认知就是自己并不存在，是介于他想成为的人和他人关于他印象之间的一种存在。 在最新一期的播客中我也谈到了自我认知这个话题，认知自我的最好途径就是多花些时间和自己的思想共处，从而诱发出一种全新的感觉和意识的起点，这起点会导致一个人从根本意义上深刻地感触到自我的存在以及世间万物的存在。最后推荐大家看看他的《不安之书》，听听Naval和Kapil的播客，找到自己生活的本质，从而在根本上解决困扰我们的精神问题。 “I am nothing. I'll never be anything. I couldn't want to be something. Apart from that, I have in me all the dreams in the world.” ― Fernando Pessoa 最近也在刷马克叔(Mark Ruffalo)一人分饰两角的片子《我知道这是真的I Know This Much Is True》，这部根据同名小说改编的剧集揪心又压抑。 最近两年看了不少「惨」片，感觉这才是生活的真谛。比如说聚焦童年阴影的《梅尔罗斯Patrick Melrose》，展现社会边缘人士的《小丑Joker》，讲述被生活折磨至麻木的《海边的曼彻斯特Manchester by the Sea》，表现丧偶生活的《后半生After Life》，以及上周提过的青春片《普通人Normal People》。 越来越发现人生维艰，酒精毒品和性爱都只是短暂的安慰剂，甚至别人的安慰和意见建议也只是起到辅助作用，真正需要的是回归自我，就像上述那些片子中的主人公一样，最终会找到一种方法让自己免于修复重复的痛苦，取而代之的是与自己和解，从而在根本上解决问题。人生终究还是一场自我救赎的苦旅，听他人的故事，找到自己的解药。心碎哀伤，麻木彷徨，现在看起来难以翻阅的痛苦，也许就在漫长的时间中得到缓慢的治愈。 每个活在世上的人都很不容易，需要同一些你无法控制的基因激素和所处的社会环境抗衡斗争，这个过程痛苦又折磨。这些真实或虚构的故事越来越加深我对于整个人类群体的同情，唯一能做的就是看清真相后依然热爱生活吧。 看到这两天Twitter和Instagram上很多人在跟风发黑色的图片#blacklivesmatter 然后在现实生中却是看到黑人就躲得远远的，我没有权利批判别人的行为和动机，但却觉得如果真的关心这个议题，与其跟风在社交媒体上喊口号，不如在生活中做点力所能及的小事儿，用行动为你的思想代言。就算是举手之劳问候一下黑人同事或者在美国的朋友也是值得的有意义的。 “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” ---Elie Wiesel 
【理想屯播客】最新一期球姐和LJ回归自我，聊聊如何在根本上解决自我认知的问题。
你将听到： * LJ数字戒断体验反馈 * 如何找到生活的优先权？ * 成功人士的经验真的可取吗？ * 我们如何被故事影响？ * 我们对于解决人生根本问题的反思 * 人真的需要被理解吗？ * 冥想的意义是什么？ 延伸阅读： * 费尔南多·佩索阿《不安之书》 * Naval和Kapil播客 收听方式： - 荔枝FM： https://www.lizhi.fm/3647543/5114555141581046278 - 喜马拉雅FM： https://www.ximalaya.com/jiaoyu/11828329/303618223 - Spotify： https://open.spotify.com/show/0rFtSdsqWs3iZughaP0tbd 也可在其他各大播客平台或app直接搜索「The CJ Show」或「理想屯」进行收听。 
球姐和创作人Hong合作「隔空对话」系列节目，最早发表于各自公众号之上，此版本为四期合集，你将听到：
第一期：关于「自我认知」这一话题，首先离不开的就是成长背景。到底是什么样的生长环境使得我们成为了今天的自己？我们在主动和被动接受环境的变化时，是否对于自己又有了新的认知？今天的话题就此展开，分享我们人生中的几大转折点以及对塑造自我人格产生的深远影响。 第二期：Hong和心理咨询师小左，一起聚焦「原生家庭」，分享我们的成长背景，和父母的相处模式，如何处理与父母的隔阂，以及我们对于培养下一代的见解。 第三期：聚焦「爱情话题」Hong和爱人Lulu从相识到恋爱过程，如何确定对方是对的人？如何处理爱情中的矛盾？如何经营让朋友们都十分羡慕的爱情？男女交往和女女交往的区别？以及女生也可以大胆谈性。 第四期：聚焦「创作」这一话题，分享我们的创作过程，如何培养专注力？如何培养创意能力？如何面对他人的评价？如何面临创意瓶颈？以及如何建立个人品牌？ 你的基因和经历都是与众不同的，这就表示这个世界上只有「你」可以将自己的才华和技巧结合起来，与大家分享这份独特的礼物。每个人的生命长度虽然有限，但可以通过自我创作或是阅读观看他人的作品来拓宽自己生命的广度。 最后，愿大家都可以通过创作发现自己的内在之光，一起点亮我们的世界，为彼此引路，打造属于自己的理想屯。 
刻板印象5月23日是穆斯林斋月结束的日子，Eid Mubarak！ 以前对穆斯林文化还有中东国家的兴趣不大，感觉那是离自己很遥远的地方，周围也没什么来自那边的朋友。去年3月15日的基督城枪击案发生后，因工作需要让我第一次有机会和很多出生于中东地区的同事对话，并且做了大量关于穆斯林文化的调查研究，才发现之前的自己错过了多少人类瑰宝。 就像中西方很多媒体大量抹黑彼此一样，一提及中东国家和穆斯林宗教，混乱、极端、落后、保守等负面词汇已经深入我的脑海。没想到搬来伦敦后，突然给了我很多机会通过一个个鲜活的生命去了解中东局势和穆斯林文化。我的Airbnb房东是埃及人，我的室友是苏丹人，我的约会对象还有黎巴嫩和伊朗人，通过与他们的深入交流以及观察他们的生活方式，才意识到自己受到标签和先入为主的刻板印象影响阻碍了好奇心和求知欲，实在是太过愚蠢。 我的Airbnb房东知识渊博，对于政治和经济有很强的洞见能力，现在成了我在伦敦最好的朋友，每每和他交谈总能给予我学识和生活上的启迪，无论是政治局势还是文化历史，以及文学艺术和生活爱情，在深度的交流和讨论中总能碰撞出智慧的火花。疫情期间知道我不爱做饭，还会烹饪擅用香料的中东菜肴送上门来，最近的一次讨论让我了解了埃及和苏丹的国界为什么是一条如此笔直的直线，引申到当年英法殖民历史，以及埃以战争、巴以冲突和两伊战争。 我的室友也是款曲周至，虽然我们的生活方式截然不同但彼此却能在同一屋檐下和睦相处，去年圣诞期间他传统的穆斯林父母来伦敦和我们小住两周，之前还因面对未知有点害怕，结果那两周感受最深的就是他们对于我的尊重和爱意。老两口上世纪六十年代移民英国，一位是建筑师，一位是银行职员，据室友介绍他的爸爸是当年仅有的拿着上亿英镑预算的有色人种设计师。圣诞期间虽然他们作为穆斯林并不过节，但还是邀请我参与他们的家庭聚餐一起庆祝，这样充满理解的举动让我在异国他乡倍感温暖。 最近在读苏丹作家塔依卜·萨利赫《移居北方的时节》（又译作《风流的赛义德》），其中有一段主角从欧洲回到苏丹被当地人追问的段落十分有趣： 「当他们听到我说欧洲人与我们并没有什么不同时显露出不可思议的神情，我告诉他们欧洲人也会根据当地传统和习俗结婚生子，总体来说他们都是品德良好的人们。 那他们中间有农民吗？Mahjoub问我。 当然了，他们中间很多人也是农民。他们也像我们一样有工人，医生，老师和农民。我回答道。但是我并没有把心里的这些话告诉Mahjoub：就像我们一样，欧洲人也经历出生和死亡，一生中追逐梦想，有时成功有时失望；面临未知会充满恐慌，也会追寻爱情，并在家庭之中寻找慰藉；欧洲人当中也有弱肉强食，也有资本家和被剥削的人民，但是柔弱的人民也会反抗。我并没有对Mahjoub这么说，尽管我希望我这样做了，因为他很聪明。当时我却自负的认为，他并不会理解。」 我们人类的共同之处远远大于不同，如果总是拿着刻板印象去看待世界，并用固定思维去思考一切，那只会把自己囚禁在一个闭塞的牢笼中。世界上的事情错综复杂，生活在这上面的个体也是千姿百态。现在和别人聊天已经不再问一些「你是哪里人」「你做什么工作」诸如此类把别人放在既定框架里的问题，而是用好奇心引领，去真正了解一个个真实的「人」，发现彼此的闪光点。 虚构小说最近伦敦的形势有所好转，可以在保持社交距离的情况下在公园野餐，或者走街串巷，楼下的咖啡馆和餐厅也陆续开张营业，昔日熙熙攘攘的皇后大道也在经历空城之后又恢复往日的生机。 此时我在肯辛顿区漫步，偶遇T.S.艾略特故居。他的著名诗歌《荒原》被人们评价为「记录当代世界及其历史的荒凉风景画」，虽然艾略特本人则认为这首诗歌只是他个人的消遣和对生活无足轻重的抱怨。 对比诗歌中那一番战后阴郁的景致，此时的伦敦在夏日的艳阳中却显得格外的娇艳诱人。伦敦的美好之处就在于总能在不经意间偶遇这些名家故居，喜欢独自伫立在门前，幻想那些大文豪们在桌前窗边奋笔疾书的样子，内心也备受鼓舞。自己的首部英文小说也在疫情期间完成了创作并发表在即，伦敦的文学氛围功不可没。 现在意识到看虚构作品时我更在意的有三点：一是能否在故事中找到共鸣。最幸福的时候就是看到创作者能用语言或者画面把我想表达但却没能力表达出来的感情具象化；二是能否赋予我探索人生的可能性。毕竟我的生活只有一次，但可以在文学作品中看见另一种生活方式；三是能否启发我提出问题并作出解答。很多作品都饱含着作者对于所处时代和所面对问题的记录和控诉，无论是社会时政还是情感困惑，也许都能在里面找到答案。 不过也要说明的一点就是虚构作品受到篇长和时长的限制，只能是生活的浓缩，所以很多因果关系会描写的特别具体，比如说主角做了A就会有B这个结果。但在真实生活中，人并没有办法真正做到为万物归因，生活太过复杂又充满不确定性，我之所以成为现在的我，是那么多点点滴滴积累而成，完全没有办法像虚构作品那样来简单总结。如果把这些虚构作品作为生活的参考和指引，反倒很容易在生活中迷失。 又想到创作是一种主观表达自我的方式，一旦创作完成，你的作品已经不再属于自己，「一千个读者眼中就有一千个哈姆雷特」，他人的解读和评判均与你无关，重要的是自己在创作中完成了剖析自我的过程。有很多时候分析自己很难，但是创造出一个客体，然后站在上帝视角解析，一切豁然开朗。 闲逛途中把多余的口罩都送给了街头无家可归的人，他们接过口罩的眼神和不断地谢意足够支撑着我走到年底，施比受更幸福，我其实更应该谢谢他们。想做一个时代的记录者，聆听和讲述身边人的故事，生命长度虽然短暂，但广度却可达到无限。 
最近一部叫做《普通人》（Normal People）的英剧横空出世，在社交媒体上引发了一系列的追捧。
这部电视剧根据同名小说改编，讲述了一个发生在爱尔兰小镇上的两个高中生的故事：男主出身贫寒，学习体育都很不错，但内心充满了不安全感和焦虑感；女主出身富贵，却有一个破碎的家庭，敏感又孤傲，12集的剧情见证他们从青春期长大成人，一路分分合合，彼此伤害又彼此扶持的成长过程。 不要看我描述的像一部爱情狗血剧，男女主角对于青少年之间初生情愫然后初尝禁果的真实演绎实在很有代入感。全片虽然加起来有41分钟的sex镜头，但丝毫不会让你觉得庸俗色情，反而像一幅幅美好的艺术画作，有一种在小镇夏秋交接之时，坐在午后阳光倾洒的大树下吃冰激凌的甜美惬意之感。 我在看《普通人》时，常常会产生一种强烈的共鸣感。很多时候我以为交流可以解决一切问题，其实语言的力量单薄又脆弱，往往还会因为词不达意而伤害了对方也伤害了自己。剧中的一些求而不得的强烈疼痛感，不知如何与生活讲和自暴自弃的无助感，以及深处陌生环境无法融入的孤独和焦虑感，真的只有真正经历过，才能刻画的如此细致入微吧，给这位90后的爱尔兰女作家点赞。 每每看这种青春写实剧，都会像小傻子一样又哭又笑。喜欢剧中两个人彼此为对方注入能量和活力的状态，就算生活无数次的给他们打击和考验，也没有彻底放弃对方，反而是在一次次的分合当中找到了真实的自我，修补了内心的空洞，最终也让两个人的感情得以升华。 好友Fiona说，《普通人》的唯美画面和恰到好处的配乐总能让她想起电影《请以你的名字呼唤我》（Call Me by Your Name）。电影当中也是充满了对于爱情的困惑和身份的迷茫，而青春年少时期不就应该如此放肆的爱，狠狠地去感受生活带给自己的苦与乐吗？至今还能想起影片结尾中爸爸说过的一段话：无论何时都需要沉浸于自己的感受，用心去体验生活，才不枉此生。而因为害怕不敢再爱，麻痹自己的感觉，自以为不会再受到伤害，但最后剩下的只是后悔和遗憾。 近年让我印象深刻的以青春期少年们为主角的片子还有《去他妈的世界》（The End of Fxxxing World），暴力中充满着浪漫，哀伤中充满甜蜜，那丰盈的情感总是无处安放，只能狠狠地宣泄出来，让我们有能力去与生活作战。还有YouTube 出品的《韦恩》（Wayne），基本是相同的设定，男主女角不是家庭破碎就是出生在问题家庭，脏话时常挂在嘴边，对周身的一切都充满了质疑和敌意。当少年们失去了家庭的庇护，赤裸裸地去迎接生活时，那直面而来的痛楚只能让丝毫没有防备的我们以最激烈的情绪回应。再看现在，被生活摧残久了，理性在大多数情况下都会战胜感性，懂得了冷静和克制，但时常还会怀念下当年那种动物性「活着」的感觉呢。 《伯德小姐》也是一部很有共鸣的关于成长的电影。青春期时我也像影片女主一样想逃离家的港湾，和父母拌嘴，说出要脱离关系的话语；只想和「酷」孩子们混在一起，而忘记自己究竟是谁；虚荣心作祟渲染夸大事实的真相，就为得到关注；为爱情自残哭泣；学大人抽烟喝酒... 然后慢慢地当你真的远离家乡，有了成年人的自由，干了那些曾经向往的事情后，慢慢反思，才学会与自己和解，和父母和解，与生活和解。逐渐接受了成长本身就是一件充满傻气和痛苦的事情。现在虽然无论何时看过去的自己，都想笑骂一句「你怎么当初这么傻X」，但是经历的就是收获，没有年轻不懂事犯错的积累，怎么可能有现在的自己呢？ 当理想化的精神和真实的社会之间充斥着不可协调的矛盾，我们反叛，发泄，质问，彷徨... 试问谁的青春不曾迷茫？最后，希望你也能像剧中的M和C一样，纵使遍体鳞伤，也会怀抱赤子之心从头再来，最终找到自己，解救自己，如果这期间还有幸有人能与你一路同行，那何不倾尽全部彼此扶持？ 我们只活一次，生活只有现在。 
今天是凯文·凯利（Kevin Kelly）68岁的生日，他在自己的网站上总结了68条生活感悟作为生日礼物奉献给读者，翻译一下这位给我带来诸多思考的老师的文章，谢谢KK，生日快乐！
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