Dear X

24/10/2020

Dear X

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Dear X,

We haven’t met yet. I don’t even know when. But I’d like to write a letter to introduce myself first.

Where shall I start? My name? You probably won’t call me Camellia that often because there is a particular word you’d like to use for me. Even if you’d say nothing at all, you always can get my attention. So, let me tell you something else.

I’m writing to you in London, a city that I was so familiar with even before I moved here last year. As you might realise that I read a lot and watch a lot of football games. This is what exactly England can offer to me: rich works of literature and cultures plus passionate football matches.

I remember I was the first few kids in my primary school that finished reading the whole series of Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes. Also, I was the only girl in my friends’ circle that developed the interest in football at the age of six. I asked my Dad to take me with him to watch football live at Shandong Provincial Sports Center Stadium.

Interestingly enough, I picked up Manchester City as my team when I moved to England (long story but I’ll share with you later if you are interested in football philosophy). The neighbourhood red team Manchester Utd was the first English football club I knew when I was in my darkest hours during my childhood.

In 1998, My mum had a severe car accident and stayed in hospital for more than a year. Back then, I collected a lot of newspaper and football magazines featured David Beckham. His name and handsome face were all over the news those years. You may still find his red card at the World Cup 98, and his heroic come-back with his fellow, the Class of '92, to help Man Utd won the Treble in 1999 were pretty impressive.

Mr Beckham served as my spiritual support to help me cope with my parents’ absence. By following his news and relevant gossips, I learn so much more about the Premier League and English culture in general (music, fashion and … fish and chips?). You know teenage girls always have some romantic dreams such as marry a prince and live a happy life forever. I admitted David Beckham was my unrealistic crush just like most other English girls at the same age.

Anyway, enough about my early year football fantasy story, here comes to the literature part. I studied English Literature at university where I got a chance to thoroughly study William Shakespeare, Geoffrey Chaucer, Lord Byron, Jane Austen, and so many more. Sorry about those name dropping that might bore you. But I would like to let you know how the seed of ENGLAND lifestyle and history, through those writer’s writing, has already planted in my mind and grow continually throughout my life.

I hope you also enjoy your early years living in England as much as I do. I know one day you are going to leave me and explore this world by yourself, but before that, I shall share with you all the best parts based on my experiences. So, please forgive me if I get too excited to dish out so many things that you might not be interested in.

Let’s go back to my story again. There was a bit detour before I finally landed in England. I was living in New Zealand for almost a decade before I made my move here. New Zealand treats me very well with its marvellous landscapes and its kind people. I had so many first times that happened there, such as bungy jumping, skydiving, 100km charity walk in 31 hours, shave my hair for cancer children, first job, first apartment, first sex experience and first relationship that lasted more than three months (my best friend even sent me a bouquet of flower to congratulate me for this achievement lol).

You heard me reading you stories from J. R. R. Tolkien. That’s right, and New Zealand is regarded as Middle Earth where all unexpected journey happened. I wish one day I could show you around to see 9 Great Walks I walked, Hobbiton Sites I worked and lovely people I met. I bet you are going to love my second hometown Auckland very much. It’s such a difficult decision to leave New Zealand, leave extraordinary Kiwis. However, life is a journey you gain something with making the sacrifice of losing something else. I know I’m going to live a very comfortable life if I stay in New Zealand forever, but you know I always enjoy new adventures and new challenges. So, here I am, alone in London, writing to you in my second language.

My friends from New Zealand couldn’t figure out why I quit a well-paid job and leave everything behind to move to a new country where I know no one. My new friends in England also didn’t understand why I abandon a high-quality lifestyle in New Zealand and move here where the weather is miserable, and the food was dull. Do you know why? To fulfil my childhood dreams.

I know you have so many dreams that might not be possible to achieve by now. But never say never, my dear. Just look at me, I’m able to watch PL live in the famous stadiums where I only heard from the TV when I was little. I’m able to visit castles and buildings where I only study from the books when I was a student. I’m even able to experience the class differences and local cultures in person, right here in England, that I never thought about when I read them.

Life is wonderful, isn’t it? As long as you are alive, there are always miracles happening around you. That’s why I’d like to give you a chance to experience this world, my beloved son or daughter.

Although this world is not as perfect as I expect it to be, I think you will inherit my coping mechanism of living peacefully and wisely in our society. I also trust that one day you will grow up to be stronger and more resilience than I am and even make a positive impact and bring value to our human race.

The universe is in its massive scale and what we know about it is like a teaspoon drop compared to the ocean. There are so many things in this world we human being cannot explain. I’m not a religious person, even though I’ve devoted a lot of time researching and experiencing different religions and philosophies. The more I know, the more I feel like I know nothing. What I could say is life is a miracle. A gift that the universe could offer to human beings.

Baby, I don’t have many expectations from you because you are an independent human being and you have your own life to live. What I could offer is my choice to have you, to guide you, to protect you in the early days and to share with you my two cents of wisdom you might find useful in the future.

I know life is a single-player game and full of suffering, but my optimistic side always won the battle to persuade me it’s going to be ok. I hope you will have this faith too and make this world a little bit more livable with love. Love is the only thing we could offer to people around us, do you agree?

Time is up, baby. I’m going to watch PL and El Clásico now. I’ll write to you later, I promise, just like what your grandmum wrote to me to record myself that I always enjoy reading. My son or daughter, I can’t wait to meet you in the near future with loads of love.

Love,
You mum
24/10/2020
London, England

Dear X

KIA ORA! welcome to the chiwi journal newsletter