TABLE OF CONTENT
I was obsessed with my Dad's study room when I was little. How could he pick up some colourful and rectangular things on the shelf and lock himself in the room for the whole day? I imitated his behaviour but hardly understood anything from his accounting, economy and management books.
One day, I browsed my Dad's treasures and found one book rather fascinating. The Life of Friedrich Nietzsche by Daniel Halévy (The Chinese translation version of that book called Friedrich Nietzsche: I am the Sun《尼采传：我是太阳》) triggered me because that are the only few words I could recognise at a young age. I felt excited, like Archimedes leapt out of the bath and rushed home naked crying, "Eureka! Eureka!" I thought I had found the universal truth: the Sun is this bearded and weird-looking guy!
My family made fun of me for secretly telling everyone, "do you know the Sun has a name called Ni Cai (Nietzsche's pronunciation in Chinese)?" and how I regarded myself as a detective scientist who decodes the identity of the Sun. Silly, right? That childhood mystery followed me for ages until I learnt at school what metaphor is and who the real Nietzsche is. Apparently, there is a conventional rule to name things in our society, including the Sun.
My old friend' Nietzsche did not fade away with my stupidity but lingered around my life and led me to dig more about him and his fellow philosophers. As he says, he who has a why to live can bear almost any how. Like many rebellious, moody and self-centred teenagers in my adolescent years, I blamed my parents for everything because "I did not choose to be born". My early 20s were filled with enormous pains from internal self-doubt and disturbing external facts. I did not know why I was here and what is it for.
I wrote numerous suicide notes in my diaries but never made them into action. I suffered from a constant existential crisis but never fell into mental illness. I do not know if I am a coward or a survivor in this life game.
Now I want to share my journey of discovering my WHY (aka, my philosophy). This article is my guiding principle for my short life on earth. I hope you will find your path and live on your own terms.